


Theory Testing

by HostisHumaniGeneris



Category: Original Work
Genre: Crack, Other, POV Second Person, Philosphy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-13
Updated: 2020-01-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:15:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22233148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HostisHumaniGeneris/pseuds/HostisHumaniGeneris
Summary: "Whoever fights with monsters should see to it that he does not become a monster in the process. And when you gaze long into an abyss the abyss also gazes into you.”You're pretty sure that's bullshit.
Comments: 12
Kudos: 13
Collections: Exchanges After Dark Birthday Bash 2020





	Theory Testing

**Author's Note:**

  * For [twosocksinalabcoat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/twosocksinalabcoat/gifts).



> For the EAD Birthday Bash, a celebration of only the _best_ writers and ideas.

"Whoever fights with monsters should see to it that he does not become a monster in the process. And when you gaze long into an abyss the abyss also gazes into you.”

Nietzsche said that.

You are convinced that he was wrong.

So you decided to test that.

Fighting monsters had been difficult. After all, they have claws and teeth and acid blood and eye lasers. Grudgingly, you admit that if you fought a werewolf and got bitten, then you would end up as a werewolf. But that couldn’t be true for everything.

So you trained.

And waited.

And trained.

And waited.

And watched for monsters.

And trained.

You were pretty sure that the mailman you suplexed through a table was really a mimic in disguise. And that mimic didn’t turn you into one. In fact, it just laid there, asking for help. You ran away, gamely avoiding telling people to watch out for the mimic—you vanquished the beast, but it might seek to turn them against you, by pretending to be a normal mailman.

So you went home, comforted by the one, the all-overriding thought. Nietzche was a douchebag, confirmed.

But if he was only half-wrong, as far as you’ve proven. Fighting monsters _didn’t_ necessarily turn you into one. But that left one other thing to do. You needed to do _more_ testing. You needed to put the other clause to the test.

You needed to go deeper.

Tracking “the abyss” was difficult. You’re we’ll acquainted with the myriad struggles you prevailed against, all of which would most certainly be an epic tale. But not this one. You found it though, the stygian depths of pure nihilism.

And you looked at it.

It was dark.

And you looked at it.

Creeping tendrils began to wrap around your mind. _Does it count as ‘gazing’ if I legit can’t see it because its so dark? How do I know if its gazing back into me? Maybe that mailman wasn’t a mimic…_

And you kept looking.

And you were facing the notion that maybe you were in the wrong. Maybe…

**_“Hey, are you staring at me?!”_ **

You _felt_ that, not heard it. The revelation drops you to your knees. It had been staring at you.

**_“Asshole, I’m talking to you!”_ **

“Uh… yeah.” You say.

**_“Well, stop it. It’s creepy!”_ **

“Okay…” You say, dejectedly. But then a thought lances through your mind. “Hey… why didn’t you ask me to start when I started gazing into you?

**_“What? I wasn’t paying attention to you_ ** _”_

“So… you weren’t gazing into me until right now?”

**_“No. Look… just stop looking at me, okay?”_ **

The abyss didn’t need to ask that, because hearing those words you sprung up and laughed. “Suck it, Nietzsche!”

**_“Wait… who is Nietzsche?”_ **

**Author's Note:**

> There is no use for this.


End file.
